2013-09-29

20130929: Thriller Review--Nude Nuns with Big Guns


Nude Nuns with Big Guns
  1. Fundamentals
    1. American live action feature length film, released in 2010, NR, 91 minutes, action, comedy, thriller. Spoken language is English.
    2. IMDB: 3.8/10.0 from 3,795 users.  Estimated budget: 85,000 USD.
    3. Rotten Tomatoes: 'No reviews yet,' and 28% from 529 audience ratings.
    4. Directed by: Joseph Guzman; written by Joseph Guzman and Robert James Hayes II.
    5. Starring: Asun Ortega as Sister Sarah, David Castro as Chavo, Perry D'Marco as Father Carlitos, Maxie J. Santillan as Mr. Foo, Sarah Emmons as Butch, Aycil Yeltan as Sister Angelina, Emma Messenger as Mother Magda.
    6. Viewed streaming from Netflix.

  2. Setup and Plot
    1. This is definitely an exploitation film.

    2. There are plenty of rape, murder, nude women, fear and horror, blood splatter, breast implant scars, drug trafficking, and implied sex.

    3. Nuns are treated badly and sometimes killed.

    4. One of them thinks she's heard a message from God to chastise the guilty, of whom there are plenty.

    5. She accomplishes a lot of that.  If you have any beefs with the Roman Catholic Church or with biker gangs, this might feel satisfying for a few minutes.

  3. Conclusions
    1. One sentence summary: It is not worth watching, except for the laughs.
    2. One star of five.

  4. Scores
    1. Cinematography: 3/10 Not good, often bad.

    2. Sound: 3/10 Variable, but mostly bad.

    3. Acting: 2/10 Uniformly bad.  Emma Messenger was one of the worst. 

    4. Screenplay: 2/10 Sort of made sense at times, and set up a sequel.  The visual and logic gaffes are too many to mention.


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