20131029: Horror Review--Zombie Diaries 2

Zombie Diaries 2

1. Fundamentals, reception.
1. British live action feature film, 2011, rated R, 88 minutes, action, horror, scifi.
2. IMDB: 3.7/10.0 from 1,672 audience ratings.  Aspect: 1.33; estimated budget, 1.5 million USD.
3. Rotten Tomatoes: 0% impressive, but 'no consensus yet;' 19% liked it from 1,642 audience ratings.
4. Netflix: 2.8/5.0 from 67,603 audience ratings.
5. Directed by: Michael Bartlett and Kevin Gates, written by Kevin Gates.
6. Starring: Philip Brodie as Maddox, Alix Wilton Regan as Leeann, Rob Oldfield as Jonesy, Vicky Araico as Kayne, Toby Bowman as Nicholson, Okorie Chukwu as Carter.


2. Setup and Plot
1. Set in the UK after some contrived zombie apocalypse.  Reporter Leeann follows some British soldiers as they try to survive in the hostile and ever changing situation.  They hope to go to Hope's Point on the coast and then to Netherlands.  Supposedly there are enough normal humans there to have a viable stronghold.


2. What could possibly go wrong?


3. Besides the zombies, the failure of peacekeeping immediately launches a growth industry in banditry.  Since zombies have nothing to offer, the bandits are only after normals less well-armed than themselves.


4. The boat to Rotterdam is leaving at a fixed time on a fixed date.  They lose their truck on the first night, so it's forced march through hostile territory.


5. Fire fights, zombie fights, attempted rapes, and slow progress follow.


6. The team is down to four fairly soon.  They lose a member, then regain one they thought was lost.  Still, things are not going well, and their march to the coast does not look possible.  The 'final solution' is revealed.


7. Will the rescue come before the military burns down the UK?


3. Conclusions
1. Has all the look-and-feel of Syfy's Paranormal Witness, Ghost Mine, or Ghost Hunters.  That is, 'reality' shows that are entirely based on falsehoods, hand-held cameras, and the conceit that the worse the video is, the more likely it is that what is being presented is true.  The dialog is horrible, to the point of being insulting to the viewer.
2. One line summary: Normals versus zombies and bandits; the viewers lose.
3. One star of five.


4. Scores
1. Cinematography: 0/10 The observed aspect ratio of 1.33, big disappointment.  IMDB lists this film as having an aspect of 2.35, but there is no way that this is true.  The picture looks like VHS from the 1980s done on bad equipment.  Most of the movie is in 'found film' mode, which is a huge minus.


2. Sound: 3/10 Bad even for Blair Witch style poorness.  The gunfire sounds are ridiculous.


3. Acting: 4/10 Better than expected.


4. Screenplay: 3/10 There is a narrative, which tells a story of sorts, with plenty of flashbacks.  What are the flashbacks for? Watch the whole thing to find out, but it's not worth knowing. The flashbacks just make the film worse. The main story could have been done in much less time.  As it is, the film alternates between stretches of complete boredom and short bursts of running or fighting with extremely bad camera work.