20131202: Horror Review--131313

13/13/13

1. Fundamentals, reception.
1. American live action feature length film, 2013, NR, 86 minutes, horror.  Spoken word is mostly in English.  Aspect is 1.78
2. IMDB: 3.8/10.0 from 554 audience ratings.
3. Rotten Tomatoes: 'No reviews yet,' and 0% liked it from 34 audience ratings. Impressive.
4. Netflix: x/5.0 from 3,193 audience ratings.
5. Directed by: James Cullen Bressack. Production House: Asylum Pictures.
6. Starring: Trae Ireland as Jack, Jody Barton as Quentin, Bill Voorhees as Trevor, Erin Coker as Candace, Tiffany Martinez as Kendra, Calico Cooper as Marcy.


2. Setup and Plot
1. The Mayan calendar did not have leap days, so we've been miscalculating.  Anyway, the 13th month of the 13th year after the beginning of the third millennium is upon us (exact date, who knows?) It is to laugh.


2. Quentin, Jack, Joe, and Trevor are out in the wild, doing some drinking.  I'm not sure what else is going on for them to be out there.  I did not see hunting gear, fishing gear, anything to eat, or hiking shoes.  Jack, a former policeman, thinks one of the others has been fooling with his watch since the time is wrong.  We get to see the military time 13:13:13 (1pm plus a bit) in the year 13 (short for 2013, I suppose) in Jack's watch.


3. As they drive, the SUV's clock starts showing 13:13.  Jack checks on his daughter Kendra.  (Dad is African American, Mom is Anglo, their 'natural' daughter is Latina; go figure, it's set in LA).  Kendra is non-responsive; Marcy is tearing all the skin off her left forearm.  The hospital where they take Marcy is a madhouse of bad manners and incompetence.  Kendra kills Trevor, which was unexpected.  Joe and Quentin kill two people in Kendra's neighborhood by running them over.  After failing to kill Jack, Marcy jumps out the third floor window to her death.  Quentin stabs Joe, and both of them think it's funny as they play with the blood.


4. At the hospital, the walls are covered with blood.  Jack finds Candace, who is also not infected.  Candace and Jack were both born on February 29th; Candace figures that is why both of them were not affected.  Jack decides to go back to check on Kendra.  Candace objects, but Jack goes through with it.  She does convince him to make a plan.  I did not see his accomplishing that.  They decide to fight their way out to get to where Kendra is, and perhaps any other non-crazy people.  This works for a while, but neither of them got there in a car to get to Kendra.  They make it to the car park with keys, but have to match some keys with a car.  They encounter large, still healthy bullies intent on killing them.  They emerge OK, and head for Jack's home.


5. Quentin and Joe have armed themselves with Jack's guns and ammo.  They get in each other's road, of course, but decide to kill off the other crazies first.  They survive for a bit, but Joe starts to bleed out.  Jack and Candace join them, but the house is under siege.


6. The emergency radio says the outbreak has affected all 50 states.


7. Will anyone get out alive?


3. Conclusions
1. One line summary: Recalculate the dates: the Mayan apocalypse is on!
2. One star of five.  Black holes for screenplay, SFX, and acting.


4. Scores
1. Cinematography: 7/10 Daylight scenes should be sharp and good to look at. The film starts in washed out, low contrast mode.  I felt like I was watching VHS output from a tape player with dirty heads. Color contrast was low as well.


2. Sound: 5/10 Too much maniacal laughter.  Some of the incidental music is poor.


3. Acting: 0/10 Some of the worst I have ever seen.  Enough fake laughing to last twenty years.


4. Screenplay: 2/10 Stupid dialog plus terminally stupid dialog.  Very little in the way of natural motivation.


5. SFX: 2/10 Poor.