20140416: Horror Review--Creature

Creature

1. Fundamentals, reception.
1. American live action feature length film, 2011, rated R, 93 minutes, horror.
2. IMDB: 3.7/10.0 from 2,050 audience ratings. Estimated budget, 3 million USD.
3. Rotten Tomatoes: 11% on the meter; 16% liked it from 2,207 audience ratings.
4. Netflix: 3.0/5.0 from 150,727 audience ratings.
5. Written by directed by: Fred Andrews.
6. Starring: Mehcad Brooks as Niles, Serinda Swan as Emily, Dillon Casey as Oscar, Lauren Schneider as Karen, Aaron Hill as Randy Parker, Amanda Fuller as Beth, Jennifer Lynn Warren as Ophelia.


2. Setup and Plot
1. The opening sequence with Ophelia's swim in the swamp marks this movie as an exploitation effort: full nudity followed by gore and death.


2. The scene then jump shifts to three upscale city couples traveling in an expensive SUV to the backwoods swamps in Louisiana.  The six rich kids stop at a general store.  They show their general disrespect for local traditions and people.  The four men at the general store are depicted as inbred, uneducated, violent, and unsanitary.


3. The good old boys tell a story of the Boutine family, which was dying out some decades ago.  The story culminates with the almost wedding of brother and sister (Grimley and Caroline Boutine), who are the last possible breeders in the clan.  The ceremony is interrupted by a legendary gator, Lockjaw, who eats the bride.  The groom is discouraged by this.  He kills the gator, then eats it, including parts of his almost bride.  Following one of the cliches of cannibalism, Grimley absorbs some of the strengths of Lockjaw, becoming a man/monster.


4. Let's have a moment of silence for that massive 'jump the shark' incident.


5. The local good old boys warn the six city folk to respect the tradition, which is not explained in any detail.  The city folk don't show respect, of course, and the locals attempt to force the tradition on them.


6. Do any of the city youngsters survive this elimination derby and get home?


3. Conclusions
1. One line summary: Lots of cliches, very little new; throwback SFX.
2. Two stars of five


4. Scores
1. Cinematography: 6/10 Looked professional at least part of the time.


2. Sound: 7/10 Not too bad.


3. Acting: 4/10 Mehcad Brooks seemed way too old for the part; on the other hand, he was the best actor in the film by far.  That in itself was another problem: why would such a level-headed young man get into this mess?  Most of the other actors played caricatures, particularly Sid Haig.  All of the actors playing swamp folk gave terrible performances.


4. Screenplay: 3/10 The dialog the actors were given was mostly poor.  The exposition of motivation left a lot to be desired: why did anyone do any of the things they did in this movie?  The worst for me was during the Niles-Lockjaw fight.  There is no way that Niles could survive even one hit from the monster, much less 15 or so.  Ridiculous.


5. SFX: 3/10 The creature effects were modestly convincing; they were reminiscent of the Creature in the Black Lagoon (1954).  The gore effects were not convincing at all.

20140304: Horror Review--Hellraiser 9 2011

Hellraiser IX: Revelations

1. Production Fundamentals; Reception
1. American live action feature length film, 2011, rated R, 75 minutes, horror, supernatural.
2. IMDB: 2.8/10.0 from 3,196 audience ratings. Estimated budget: 350,000 USD.  Spoken word is in English.
3. Rotten Tomatoes: 'No score yet,' 5% liked it from 615 audience ratings.
4. Netflix: 2.9/5.0 from 161,216 audience ratings.
5. Directed by Victor Garcia; screenplay by Gary J. Tunnicliffe.
6. Starring:  Tracey Fairaway as Emma Craven, Nick Eversman as Steven Craven, Steven Brand as Dr. Ross Craven, Devon Sorvari as Sarah Craven, Sebastien Roberts as Peter Bradley, Ross Gillespie as Nico Bradley, Sanny van Heteren as Kate Bradley, Stephan Smith Collins as Pinhead. 


2. Setup, Plot
1. Filmed in LA, supposedly takes place in Mexico.  Right.  Smallest budget of the nine films.  The six year gap between HR 8 and HR 9 comes from the Weinstein company Miramax losing rights to the series and Puzzlebox Films picking up the rights.  The film was shot on a short schedule, and Doug Bradley did not return to reprise his role as Pinhead.


2. Nico and Steven bid farewell to Los Angeles on their way to Tijuana, MX.  Their aims are to get wasted or connect with sex workers.  We jump to Tijuana.  Nico is fooling about with a puzzle cube.  He succeeds in opening it.  Pinhead and two cenobites appear.


3. The Cravens and the Bradleys (parents of the doomed idiots, Steven and Nico) get together to have an evening together.  Emma is upset that no one talks about the sons, since Steven was her brother and Nico was her boyfriend.  She wonders why her mother spends time in Steven's room watching the tape the boys made over and over again.  Peter supports her in wanting to discuss it.


4. After a time, Emma watches some of the video, and starts playing with the puzzle cube.  The level of anxiety rises when this is revealed.  The anxiety ratchets up when Steven returns.  When they try to call 911, they find that their telephones are not working.  They decide to transport Steven, but their vehicles go missing.  It just keeps getting better.


5. As 'Steven' recovers a bit, secrets come out, many of them quite nasty, and blood starts to flow.  Will anyone get out of this alive?


3. Conclusions
1. One line summary: Easily the worst of the nine films in the series.
2. One star of five.


4. Scores
1. Cinematography: 5/10 Shaky cam, minus 4 points, immediately.  Terrible contrast, terrible framing, terrible focus.  Some of the film looks OK.


2. Sound: 4/10 Not very effective.


3. Acting: 0/10 Stephan Smith Collins is a terrible replacement for Doug Bradley as Pinhead. Whoever wrote Pinhead's lines was even worse.  From the beginning, the dialog is very bad.  A young woman playing a Mexican native speaks Spanish with a very American accent.  I did not like the performance of any of the actors.


4. Screenplay: 2/10 Bad dialog to go with the wretched acting.  There is a story of sorts, but it develops slowly, and still seems muddled at the end.  The fractured time lines did not help all that much.


5. SFX: 2/10 Poor compared to the earlier films, even though this one was released in 2011.  The credits ran long, still mention the Weinsteins, and had better production values than the rest of the film.

20140304: Horror Review--Hellraiser 8 2005

Hellraiser: Hellworld (2005)

1. Production Fundamentals; Reception
1. American/Romanian live action feature length film, 2005, rated R, 89 minutes, horror, gore.
2. IMDB: 4.2/10.0 from 5,165 audience ratings. Estimated budget, 5 million USD.
3. Rotten Tomatoes: 20% on the meter; 24% liked it from 17,470 audience ratings.
4. Netflix: 3.2/5.0 from 326,738 audience ratings.
5. Directed by Rick Bota, screenplay by Joel Soisson and Carl V. DuPre.
6. Starring: Doug Bradley as Pinhead, Lance Henriksen as The Host, Katheryn Winnick as Chelsea, Henry Cavill as Mike, Christopher Jacot as Jake, Khary Payton as Derrick, Anna Tolputt as Allison, Victor McGuire as first policeman, Stelian Urian as Adam.


2. Setup, Plot
1. The picture begins in the Roman Catholic setting: nuns, so-so sculpture, churches, services for the dead, dreary music, and stained glass windows.  Coincident and discordant with that, we have young adults (well, children in adult bodies) who look all correct in their level of solemnity, which they will soon enough chuck off as just another aspect of their hypocrisy.  These are the folk headed for the grinder.


2. The protagonist group (Chelsea, Mike, Allison, Derrick, Jake, Adam) were all addicted to the MMORPG video game 'Hellworld,' and have come to the funeral of Adam.  Adam apparently committed suicide after a period of instability.  Jake is a bit stand-offish at the funeral because he thought the other four spent too much time at the game while Adam was in trouble.


3. If the titles are to be believed, two years go by.  The sub-group (Chelsea, Mike, Allison, Derrick) get tickets to the 5th annual secret Hellworld party at a large semi-secluded mansion. They meet Jake there, somewhat to their surprise.


4. Since they are first time party attendees, The Host shows them around his collection of Hellworld memorabilia.  All of them are quite impressed. The building is called Leviathan House, and supposedly was designed by Phillip Lemarchand. The house was originally a nunnery until 80 nuns went missing.  Then it became a house for the criminally insane, and developed a history of paranormal violence.  The staff took a bit of a wrong turn when they all took local anesthetics and proceeded to dismember each other.


5. Chelsea shows open skepticism to The Host.  He shows her a powerful hallucination in which he introduces himself as Pinhead.  All this is shrugged off, and they go to the party for getting drunk with masks on.


6. After that, we get down to divide and conquer.  The protagonists have some rather bad experiences, and the elimination derby is on.


7. Allison walks into a room marked 'Keep out.'  She should have done that.  Chelsea thinks she sees Adam, and pursues.  Jake goes exploring too, and meets Pinhead.  Then he notices that no one acknowledges him, except someone who has been dead for years.  Derrick goes looking for love, but needs his inhaler.  He just cannot get to it on the dance floor, and has to search hard to find it.  Mike finds a young woman who gives him some physical attention. Chelsea calls him, but he cannot be bothered.  Then his hallucinations start.


8. Chelsea stays a bit aloof, and resists the goings-on the best.  Will she survive the party?


3. Conclusions
1. One line summary: Grieving father plays elimination derby with Hellworld gamers.
2. Two stars of five.


4. Scores
1. Cinematography: 5/10 A lot of VHS quality, which is disappointing.  Then again, this picture was straight-to-video.


2. Sound: 4/10 Music by Lars Anderson was not effective.


3. Acting: 3/10 Lance Henriksen seemed a touch not involved, but still delivered his lines professionally. Doug Bradley was good, as usual, in his short role.  The other actors just sucked rocks.  This definitely includes Henry Cavill, who later played Superman in Man of Steel (2013).


4. Screenplay: 4/10 There is some very terrible dialog, followed by more. "Like a bad horror movie, isn't it?" The Host asked Chelsea.  Motivations were often unclear.  The story seemed merely an elimination derby for twenty somethings with a Hellraiser setting.  The double reverse at the end was moderately interesting, and was the basic reason for 2/5 instead of 1/5.


5. SFX: 4/10 Not many SFX, and none of them were all that interesting.

20131221: Horror Review--Psycho Gothic Lolita

Psycho Gothic Lolita (Gosurori shokeinin)

1. Fundamentals, reception.
1. Japanese live action feature length film, 2010, NR, 87 minutes, action, horror.  Spoken word is in Japanese; subtitles in English.
2. IMDB: 5.7/10.0 from 347 audience ratings.
3. Rotten Tomatoes: 'No reviews yet...' and 45% liked it from 64 audience ratings.
4. Netflix: 2.8/5.0 from 26,260 audience ratings.
5. Directed by: Go Ohara.
6. Starring: Rina Akiyama as Yuki, Ruito Aoyagi as Masato (Viscous Gentleman), Asami as Shimada's Girlfriend, Yukihide Benny as Shimada (Gambler).


2. Setup and Plot
1. The film opens to spaghetti being eaten with an emphasis on the slurping while smoking a cigarette with one's hair grazing the spaghetti.  This is a gambling den, where poor people are being tortured or murdered at the amusement of the rich.  The camera meanders from one wretched scene to the next until it focuses on two well-to-do criminals who are gambling over odd versus even for the roll of two dice.  The winner gets to shoot three tied up victims.  After this is completed, the 'loser' gets upset, and the woman who rules the roost calls for her bouncers to settle things down unless the two parties shut up.  One party leaves, while the other braces for confrontation.


2. Yuki, dressed in Goth style, arrives and beats the nonsense out of everyone except the gambling den owner, whom she decapitates.  After the bloodbath, Yuki goes home to her paraplegic father, who had been giving prayers at a small indoor shrine.  Miraculously, Yuki's clothes have no blood splatter or spaghetti sauce on them. Yuki burns a card that symbolizes her opponent in her recent victory.


3. There are a number of filler segments, sometimes in flashbacks.
1. The spaghetti segment at the start.  It certainly justified the death of the spaghetti eater and any of his cohorts, but it did not advance the plot or deepen character development.


2. There's the segment about the chemistry teacher who wants to demonstrate telekinesis on a spoon, but sends wind up the girls' skirts instead.


3. Anything involving the nonsense character Elle. There were four of these.  The worst was when Yuki and Elle have guns drawn at point blank range, and they don't fire.  Elle takes a phone call, which goes on  and on.  Sure.  Yuki tries to break Elle's neck.  Takes forever.  Both Yuki and Elle have unlimited numbers of bullets in their guns.


4. The laughing of her fifth opponent went on ad nauseam.


4. Ridiculous fight scenes:
1. The mob fight scene in the gambling den.  Yuki spins with her umbrella and defeats/knocks down a dozen larger attackers with knives, swords, and the like.  Yuki kills target number one, but that took three, perhaps four, seconds.


2. Yuki versus chemistry teacher, mop versus umbrella.  After a bit he showed he could fly; still, it was a mop versus an umbrella.  In the middle of the fight, he stops to comb the mop's hair.  This was one of the persons who killed Yuki's mother. She did not really pursue the question of why he did it, or whether his allies posed further threat.  This was target number two.


3. Seven guys in a fight club decide to beat up a man with no training whatsoever.  Yuki challenges them.  They yell for a while, then use their bodies to form English letters.  Then they form a character with the group, and say, 'We are kamikaze!'  With that sort of introduction, how serious could this group be?  Grunting and her umbrella seem to be enough for her to prevail.  Absurd.  Actually, this should be under 'filler segments.'  This goes on and on.  The amusing part was that their victim was the one she came to kill, Yuki's target number three.


4. Yuki's fights with Elle, her victim number four.  This was about as credible as the mid-level opponent fights in the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers.  Whereas fully trained men who each have 50 to 70 pounds of muscle on Yuki cannot defeat Yuki, the diminutive child Elle (a lightweight well under five feet tall) wounds Yuki and narrowly missed killing her.  This is the ultimate foulness of this movie.  It embraces the unlikely or the impossible.  Rather, it seems to insist on it, and rejoice in it.  Yuki and Elle fire well over 50 bullets at each other in the second fight...and land zero of them.


5. This continues for another 25 or so minutes.  It does not get better.


3. Conclusions
1. Slurping spaghetti (70 maybe 80 decibels) with one's hair in the spaghetti while smoking a cigarette; nice. This really is a horror film.  The sound of the slurping was indeed wretched.
2. One line summary: Weak story, poor execution, still a gorefest.
3. One star of five; two black holes for acting and screenplay.


4. Scores
1. Cinematography: 7/10 Dark and soft focus for too many frames.


2. Sound: 7/10 OK


3. Acting: 0/10 No credible performances.


4. Screenplay: 0/10 Terrible. 

20130607: Horror Review--The Cabin in the Woods

The Cabin in the Woods

1. American live action theatrical film with some special effects, released 2012, rated R for violence and gore, 95 minutes.
2. IMDB: 7.1/10.0 from 163,264 viewers.
3. Rotten Tomatoes: tomatometer at 92%
4. Stars Kristen Connelly, Liam Hemsworth, Bradley Whitford, Sigourney Weaver, Amy Acker
5. Starts off as a standard looking young-adults-screwing up slasher-horror film, but has the extra layer of the Bradley Whitford-Amy Acker technical crew operating in parallel.
6. As those two layers come together, the real fun starts.
7. Producer Joss Whedon, Director Drew Goddard, the writer of Cloverfield
8. Rated five stars of five. 

Cinematography: 10/10 No complaints. There were dark passages, where horror films often fail, but the cameras and operators were up to the challenge.

Sound: 10/10 Good.

Screenplay: 10/10 Good pacing, wonderful buildup to surprise ending, which was the quintessence of horror.

Acting: 10/10 Good all around.

Special Effects: 10/10 Vary between competent and extremely good.