Hansel and Gretel Get Baked
- Fundamentals, reception.
- American live action feature length film, 2013, NR, 86 minutes, comedy, horror.
- IMDB: 4.2/10.0 from 1,672 audience ratings. Estimated budget: 4.5 million USD.
- Rotten Tomatoes: 'No score yet,' 36% liked it from 234 audience ratings.
- Netflix: 2.9/5.0 from 136,962 audience ratings.
- Directed by: Duane Journey.
- Starring: Molly C. Quinn as Gretel Jaeger, Michael Welch as Hansel Jaeger, Lara Flynn Boyle as Agnes, Cary Elwes as Meter Man, Andrew James Allen as Ashton Crawford, Reynaldo Gallegos as Carlos, Bianca Saad as Bianca, Lochlyn Munro as Officer Ritter, Yancy Butler as Officer Hart, Eddie Martin as Manny, Claudia Choi as Sam.
- Setup and Plot
- The film is set in contemporary Southern California. The film opens with a seemingly endless montage of visuals of medical marijuana prescriptions. Eventually, we shift to a meter man reading usage at a house consuming a huge amount of wattage. He decides to investigate a bit more before calling it in. This turns out to be a mistake.
- Hansel and Gretel are brother and sister in an upper middle class house. Their parents are away for a while at the beginning of the film. Gretel and her friend Ashton are in her bedroom sharing a sample of weed ('Black Forest') while they listen to music. Hansel comes home and is not amused. He goes up to chat with them, and they decide to make gingerbread after Hansel describes Black Forest Cake. Ashton goes to get some more Black Forest from the little lady who lives in Pasadena (where else...). Agnes is willing to sell him the weed and to get him some munchies, as long as he does not touch her gingerbread house.
- Ashton does eat some of it, and is knocked out by it. He awakes to find Agnes basting him. She starts eating him while he is still alive: first an eye, then roasted lower leg. Gretel makes a lot of calls since she expects him back. Next day, she starts asking his stoner associates where he might be. She gets Agnes' address from Manny, then convinces Hansel to drive her there. Agnes manages to fend off her inquiries.
- The police call the power company to ask about a missing van about to be towed. The company acknowledges this, and the van is towed. Hansel and Gretel call the police, but the interview does not go well since they are unwilling to provide specifics about Manny, or Gretel's own drug use. Officer Hart takes Agnes' address anyway. Gretel is disappointed; Hansel is resigned.
- Agnes seems to be more of a succubus than a cannibal. Sucking Ashton's spirit out of his body seems to do more for her than eating his flesh.
- Carlos decides to horn in on Manny's action with the Black Forest High. Manny goes to Agnes and tells her about Carlos' demands. Agnes is unimpressed. She sends Carlos an insulting message, then kills Manny. Gretel posts signs about Ashton. Carlos, Jorge, and Octavio visit Agnes. This proved to be a bad idea for them.
- The power company continues investigating the power spike. Sam's son (one of the stoners who gave up Manny to Carlos) divulges the location of the new weed, and Sam reports it to her boss. He personally continues the investigation from the power usage angle.
- Gretel and Bianca decide to look for Ashton and Manny at Agnes' house. While Bianca talks to Agnes, Gretel breaks into the basement, and searches. She finds a piece of shirt that she recognizes. Soon she finds Octavio, or at least his voice. Agnes prevails again.
- Hansel heads to Agnes' house once he sees Gretel's text. The police get a missing person's report on Ashton. The power company is zeroing in.
- Will Agnes maintain her household against all these challenges?
- Conclusions
- One line summary: Modern stoner comedy with a horror slant and oblique references to the fairly tale.
- Three stars of five.
- Scores
- Cinematography: 7/10 Mostly excellent, but many of the interior shots were not so good.
- Sound: 10/10 No problems.
- Acting: 6/10 Molly Quinn, Lara Flynn Boyle, Reynaldo Gallegos, and Yancy Butler were all fine. Bianca Saad was rather fun. Michael Welch, Lochlyn Munro, and Eddie Martin were almost OK. Andrew James Allen and Claudia Choi were terrible.
- Screenplay: 6/10 This one had a few continuity errors involving time of day. Some of the plot motivators were really weak. Also, just what did the power company contribute to the whole matter? The opening seemed like the film was to be a full-on stoner film with no other considerations, which turned out to be false.
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