20140131: Horror Review--Self Storage

Self Storage

1. Fundamentals, reception.
1. American live action feature length film, 2013, rated R, horror. Spoken word is in English.
2. IMDB: 3.2/10.0 from 149 audience ratings.
3. Rotten Tomatoes: 'No Reviews Yet..' and 0% liked it from 19 audience ratings.
4. Netflix: 2.6/5.0 from 20,144 audience ratings.
5. Written and directed by: Tom DeNucci.
6. Starring: Tom DeNucci as Jake, Eric Roberts as Walter, Michael Berryman as Trevor, Jonathan Silverman as Jonah, Nick Principe as Freddie, Gillian Williams as Sara-Marie.


2. Setup and Plot
1. Walter and Trevor have quite a nasty but lucrative business going in blackmarket organs.  They set up at self storage facilities, do some business, then move on.  They often supply Jonah, who has connections and access to lots of money.


2. Jake overhears Walter tell Trevor that they are leaving, and will fire Jake.  So Jake sets up a party at the facility.  In the process, he ruins the product that Walter and Trevor were going to sell to Jonah.  To make things even worse, Jonah is coming that same night with money and people to collect the organs and whatever else was involved.


3. When Walter and Trevor go to check the product, they find that Jake has more or less destroyed all the organs being carried by the kidnapped victims.  So the obvious choice is to harvest the organs from the drugged out fools at Jake's party.


4. The idiots continue to party.  Trevor starts knocking them out and bringing them in for harvesting.  After everyone else is captured or dead, Jake, Freddie, and Sara-Marie counter-attack using weapons stolen from someone's storage locker.


5. Who will come out of this happy (or alive)?  Jake and friends?  Jonah's mob?  Walter and Trevor?  None of the above?


3. Conclusions
1. One line summary: Half glorification of drugs and booze; half about involuntary organ harvesting.
2. One star of five.


4. Scores
1. Cinematography: 5/10 Varies from sub-VHS quality to nice and clear.  This is a bit jarring at times.


2. Sound: 3/10 OK, except that the actors speak now and then, and the incidental music is played.


3. Acting: 2/10 This is a vanity film for Tom DeNucci, who is not even convincing as a drugged out idiot.  Veterans Eric Roberts and Michael Berryman certainly know how to act, but the weak star/director/writer did not get much out of them.  Jonathan Silverman seemed to phone his performance in, but from a separate movie.


4. Screenplay: 2/10 The ideas were not too bad, but the execution was utter and complete nonsense.  The ending was the worst, worse than all the rest of this wretched film put together.